Always a Smaller Step
“There’s always a smaller step,” said Mike, the RMI guide for the Torres del Paine Trek. I was the least fit and shortest person in my trekking group. We were on the uphill portion of Gardner Pass. The difficulty had not been overstated and I was struggling with every step. The hike was steep. Tree roots, large rocks, and erosion created an almost impossible steeplechase for my 5’ frame. At the front of our team were the long and lean marathoners Mark and Malina, who cleared the hurdles with ease. Next, Jim, Missy, and Carlos were all in much better shape from months of weightlifting, hiking, and running. I wished I could turn back the calendar and add in more miles of running and hours in the gym. But there was no going back, and no slag van to pick me up. I had to get over the pass to get to our next camp. Saving face didn’t matter, getting to the next camp did.
I looked for those smaller steps to the right and the left of the main path. I couldn’t just follow the footsteps of someone in front of me. I had to find my own course. The hike was not just a physical endeavor but a mental puzzle. Sometimes there wasn’t an easier step and I had to ungracefully hoist myself up. In the end, smaller steps didn’t make the hike easier. They made it possible.
In my life, I sometimes get stuck thinking I have to follow the established path and do life exactly like everyone else. I forget to notice the very real differences in our backgrounds, abilities, interests, life experiences, current contexts, and temperaments. I imagine scenarios in which I am better prepared for the life challenges I face. I replay past decisions, imagining scenarios in which I can avoid the particular tangle I’m in altogether. But do-overs are never really possible. We always start right where we are. And, as I learned from our guide, there’s always a smaller step. There’s always a way forward that fits who we are. We may not be at the front of the pack, or even follow close on the heels of everyone else. But we’ll find our way.
Melissa Earley (she, her, hers)
Lead Pastor, First UMC of Arlington Heights
